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May 2005
31 May
It's getting scary. And obscure.
Some of the drawings are appalling. Like, for example, what the hell is going on with the football field? And how big IS Grimace? And what in God's name is that on a leash with Camilla and Charles? IT'S DOOF DOOF! And Snow White is getting her own back for the years of exploitation. And Clementine is smothering Joel with a pillow. Sigh.
Stay tuned for "Office Supplies: The Movie"
30 May
The fine folks at Wellingtonist encourage you to love your city! Well... if your city happens to be Wellington. So I'm joining the fun. WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Let Me Count the Ways... questions about my own private Wellington. Ho ho ho.
1. Why are you here?
I was actually born here. Well, technically I was born in Lower Hutt, but that counts... somehow. We moved away from Wellington when I was 3 and I spent the following 7 years living in the South Island, in both the blazing inferno of fun that is Timaru, and the smoldering sensuality of Nelson. Age 10, devastated to be leaving behind a place that was directly across the road from a duck pond and a gigantic park, I learned we were moving back to Wellington. I was not impressed. Duck ponds and gigantic parks would have been the death of me by the time I reached 12 so it was probably a good thing we left while the memories were still good.
2. What do you like about the town?
I love feeling cool by association. No no. Wait. That's no good. No good to admit anyway... I love the way the place looks and feels. The mix of old and run down with old and maintained. The sensational views from just about anywhere, if you are open to what you're looking at. The traditional glory of the harbour. I've gawked open mouthed driving on the motorway wishing I knew how to aim a camera more times than I care to admit. Not at the same time of course. That was be dangerous and foolhardy. I "celebrated" the stuff that I really like when I was asked to create a photographic collage triptych for a design class of a favourite place. I chose Cuba Street and revelled in the excuse to take indulgent (or so it felt) photos of crusty looking nooks and well postered crannies. Heh. You've got a well postered cranny.
Yeah. I didn't say they were any good. There's ONE reason why I work for WINZ... We had to do a colour themed one (which I didn't read the brief of until after I'd finished), a black and white typography one and a culture one. Ha.
3. What don't you like about the town?
Well, as much as it's something I'm pitifully used to... the wind. Oh GOD... the WIND. When it's icy cold. And whipping. And coupled with rain. And the confusing layout of the streets can be a bit of a bitch. All the one way streets often leave me thinking I know a good plan of how to get somewhere, only to discover upon arrival at one crucial turn that if I'm not careful I'm going to run headfirst into a bus as I go the wrong way down a one way street. But like anything, it's just something you get used to. I'm also not a big fan of the windy skinny roads lined with cars. And people who don't know to give way to people going UP. Traffic in general lately has been pretty skeezy, but at least if you get stuck on the motorway you have something beautiful to look at without veering off into the barrier.
4. Do you remember your "first time experience" with Wellington?
First time experience... that I remember... as being distinctly Wellington (as opposed to me falling off the back of my brother's tricycle as he flung me around the cul-de-sac of Zeala Grove in Stokes Valley...) would beeeeeeee... ummm... that's a tough one given that MOST of my life's memories have been based in Wellington. Ok... when we were finally old enough to venture out of the 'burbs in the weekends. Or when we finally realised that walking around the 'burbs is fucking boring when you're an underaged high school student. When things like going to see the Guy Fawke's fireworks display, mingling near the fountain at Frank Kitts Park or on that hill where they cruelly removed the pretty flags before I'd had a chance to frolic was a social EVENT. And it was an exciting time for a young lass from Tawa. Going into Wellington city was like travelling to another world. A much much much more coffee scented world.
5. What were the best times and worst times?
I don't have anything in particular in mind for the best times. I'd mention more recent times with a certain friend of mine, but it's all a bit too raw to think fondly on just yet. Yeah, nah, I'm still talking about best times. Let's just say showing people the sights and sounds. Worst times... again nothing particularly heinous springs to mind. Living in Tawa though we often would have to rely on the trains before they introduced any kind of late service. You were either paying $40 bucks to get home on a windy, rainy night after trudging around in the middle of the night trying to find a goddamn taxi (taxis in Wellington are balls) or you were leaving orientation gigs early and missing Weta! I'm not bitter! NO NO!
6. What does the city mean to you?
It's my home. As fabulous as going away is, coming home is always 10 times better. And even though it's not always where I want to be, I always miss it's little city charm when I'm in unfamiliar surroundings. Especially Auckland. Auckland makes me pine for my city so much... so much.
26 May
Wow. The guy from Arcade Fire sounds like Dave Dobbyn... kinda.
Before he... you know...
You know......
I fancied up Doof Doof today. The sad thing is I thought it would be a good idea to add this feature while in bed last night. Yep. I was thinking about my stationery.
25 May
If you didn't already think that I waste a shitload of time at work, let me introduce you to my office supply family...
You may have seen this chap before, depending on whether or not you've looked throughout this entire crappy site. He was the original. His name is "Snappy the DELEGATOR"
Ok, not my creation... but it is my hole punch and the way it blinks at you when you punch holes was my inspiration today. His name is "WHRRRRFFFTT".
Meet my red stapler. He's more innocent that he looks. His name is "Beep Click Click". Please note co-worker watching me and not at all judging me. I busied myself with this most of the afternoon.
"Doof Doof" here really came into his own today. He looks horrified but I can assure you, this is one happy hole punch. Worth $75 apparently. I wonder if they'll mind what I did to it...
No name as yet, this is surprise gift for my coworker (the co-artist in the MSPaint masterpieces). I think he'll be pleasantly surprised with his new and improved stapler.
My little friends got together for school photo.
Oh God. I am such a loser.
18 May
Longxiang on Dixon Street is a great chinese restaurant. Just so you know.
I painted a coworkers niece.. well, kind of coworker.. I don't know her very well. I dunno who fooled her into thinking I would do a good job on a portrait of some kid I don't know, but someone did. But apparently she'll pay me. It sucks big balls. PLUS it's sparked other people in the office, people I barely tolerate to "suggest" that they might do me the "favour" of "letting" me paint one of their goddamned relatives.
Fact: Painting portraits is about the LEAST fun you can have painting on a canvas
Fact: It's the least satisfying thing to produce.
Fact: Portraits are generally fucking ugly and boring and look ridiculous and fake and dull
Fact: I don't like doing them and only DO do (heheh doo doo) them when I feel trapped into it.
Man I'm grumpy.
That said, I still put it up online. Nerd.
10 May
Will the awesomeness ever cease?
Incidently, the person about to hurl themself off the WINZ ledge is me. The person not caring about me hurling myself off the ledge because they're enjoying a sneaky joint out the window is the guy who draws these with me. And no. These things don't happen at our office. Honestly.
8 May
Remember Friendster? I did too tonight. Heh! Oh my GOD I am so fucking bored. This has been the most boring scuzzy weekend ever. The only scrap of company I have had has been from my dog... constantly following me, watching every step. Oh, and my cousin paid for me to see Kingdom of Heaven. I'd like to forget that movie if I could. I knew Orlando Bloom was ... shall we say, limited, but COME ON! So much promise as that lovely wee elf... so much promise.
Speaking of elves, I forgot about these photos until I was reminded (funny how that happens eh?) of them.. uh.. that movie premiere that was big news and such.
We're half way through a city themed MSPaint picture. Stay tuned.
2 May
Seriously. Are we getting better or WHAT? It's finished and it should be printed on tshirts.
Send all tshirt orders to... Hehe. Courtney Love is farting. Eddie Vedder is rockin'. Wayne Coyne is taking his bubble animals for a swim. The Spree got themselves into a sticky situations. Wally is sleeping wid da fishes. Etc.
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