(written: 21 February 2004)
It's that time of year again boys and girls! Are you over the age of 18 and ready to paaaartaaaaay? No? That's ok, we'll get around that somehow.
It's nearly O-week. You remember O-week don't you? Maybe you don't call it that wherever you are. Orientation. The week of delightful joy that gets thrust upon you like Tommy Lee in a honeymoon video at the beginning of every university year.
I think of this as a time to remember years gone past. I say this with the taste of bitterness in my mouth and defeat ringing constantly in my ears. This year's line up is utterly devastating. Alien Ant Farm! Countless crappy NZ bands! The horror!
So to celebrate the O-week that I remember, I'll take you on a spiritual journey, through my first year through to my uh... 4th *hides face in embarrassment*.
First Year - 1999
I was a "wide eyed fresher". Hehe. Sorry. I was a first year without a clue how these things worked. I was also only 18 at a time when the legal drinking age was 20. This caused some FUCKING problems let me tell you. This basically would wipe out the possibility of every kid fresh outta high school and most of the 2nd years for entry into Orientation gigs given that they were essentially sponsored by BEER and run by BEER and powered by BEER and R20 gigs.
What they decided to do though was let us legally buy meal tickets. In NZ at the time you were allowed to drink in moderation if you were over 18 and having it with a meal. What this entailed was bending the rules, buying 3 dollar apples even if you didn't want to drink, getting a stamp saying you were under 20 and could drink until [insert time]. All this just to get into a concert that was being held FOR you.
Oy. All this took about an hour to do so the gigs were a bit late starting half the time.
First year we decided to go hard and go to as many things as we could afford.
Gig # 1 I believe was a stand up comedy evening featuring the most famous of all the NZ comics. Yeah. Unfortunately at the time these same comics were appearing on a show called Pulp Comedy and didn't bother to treat us to new material. I knew most of the punchlines seconds after they started each schpiel. PLUS, not enough room to stand or sit so we ended up kneeling in the balcony at the back of the venue. Most uncomfortable.
Gig # 2 was all ages, in the town hall and featured a plethora of incredible kiwi acts. Fiona McDonald, Bic Runga, The Stereo Bus and Weta. Unfortunately it was also on a week night so the trains out of the city stopped running at like.. 11pm so we had to leave midway through Fiona and missed Weta all together. This was also the night where Dawn and I, desperately in love with a band called Breathe, saw the singer and keyboardist sitting a few rows away from us on the balcony and then made complete jackasses of ourselves by going over to say hello and then visibly struggled to get the exit door open... much like that farside cartoon where the "gifted" kid is pushing the pull door. Uh.. How embarrassing to see the guys get up a few minutes after we scrambled over seats to get back to our friends and push the GODDAMN PULL DOOR??? open. Ugh. PLUS, I was supposed to go to this with Ben but we misplaced one another before we even found each other. He later said he'd seen me and Dawn but we were up the front and he couldn't get to us. I guess I expected a lot of the poor guy always hanging around my friends. They were pretty scary back then.
Gig # 3 was SHIHAD! ROAR! WOOF! ARF! YEAH! WOO! I can't remember much of it except being smushed against the barrier at the front in an almost entirely ex-Tawa College row. REPRAZENT!
My plans to ditch class to see HLAH, Che-Fu and Chris Knox and all these other wonderful bands were overcome by how much I HATED university in those first few weeks and wanted desperately to be at home whenever I could to avoid anything even remotely university related.
Second Year - 2000
Oh. This was all old-hat now. I think I was somewhat bored by the whole concept at this point. Infact I do believe I only went to one gig this O-week and it was a doozy.
A giant town hall extravaganza so there were no problems with underagers getting because it was all ages. Even so, the drinking age had been lowered to 18 at that point so it wouldn't have affected me and my bright shiny 19 year oldness.
The first band were surprisingly godawful. Surprisingly because they were essentially Cassette with the one extra member from HLAH. But apart from the plastic helmets they wore from the Warehouse toy department they were a terrible band. Thankfully they ditched the guitarist and became Cassette with their smooth country goodness.
Fur Patrol! The second time I ever saw them play and they filmed their video for Now at this gig which is why Dawn and I are IN IT, smushed into the front row all gooeylike. This was an era before Lydia, before Pet, before anything un-Starlifter related so people knew them but didn't really KNOW them. This was before I knew them. It was also before Julia honed her between song banter. She was babbling like a fool. Heh.
SHIHAD! ROAR! ETC! We got a giant drum of soapy water dumped directly on our heads by bastard security guards for NO REASON other than at the end of the night they needed to empty it and our heads seemed like the right place. We waddled out of that gig ringing our clothes dry and shivering in the cool night wind. Not breeze. This is Wellington people. It was wind. Luckily some passing student took pity on us and drove us home else we may have died.
Third Year - 2001
I'll go on record as saying this was the best one.
Why?
Two words.
NEIL. FINN.
My first ever Neil Finn show, just a month before the famed 7 Worlds Collide week. At the town hall, this sublime performance was marred only by the FUCKING STUDENTS! Who the hell brings NEIL FINN to an orientation gig? Students are arseholes! Well first years are anyway. These cunts heckled him. You don't HECKLE Neil Finn you FREAKS! Thankfully Neil is a consumate professional (unlike EVAN DANDO) and simply shot back with his superior huge manly wit. This was the year that Neil however decided to take on the student world and in every city had a new band made up of students he'd selected through audition tapes, who he'd then met and rehearsed with that day. There was a documentary made of it. A great idea. It's a shame half the students couldn't get over themselves and tried to ham it up on stage.
A week later Fur Patrol, Betchadupa and Cassette played. This was Fur Patrol's last gig in Wellington before relocating. I knew them now and felt I could make it memorable, so we took signs. STEVE IS SEXY! JULIA FOR QUEEN! ANDREW ROCKS! SIMON IS NUMBER ONE! Even an EVIL J RULES! for the roadie. This worked well as he screamed that he loved me across the stage and we were let backstage after the gig! We said goodbye to the band and Julia cried. They kept all the signs and every review in any magazine for a while after that mentioned the signs.
The next day, not as part of the orientation Betchadupa and Cassette played for free in the square. Honourable mention for being awesome.
Fourth Year - 2002
The "Why-are-you-still-here?" year. Because I suck at university and dropped out of a major OK? Geez. But despite my pitiful workload I still got to go. Actually anyone can go but .. ya know.. .whatever.
This seems like the biggest year. It was certainly the most expensive transport-wise, but it also coincided with Wellington's fringe festival so I'm blurry on which was part of O-week and which was part of that. However, if 2001 didn't win the OHMYGODTHISISSOAWESOME award, this year would have.
Double Fur Patrol. Show number one was at Massey University and was free. It was PACKED. It was free and it was packed and it was the first show. Why does this feel ominous? Oh yes. Because the next night was at Vic, the less accessible venue.. and it wasn't free. Oh so empty. They did it assbackwards and it was their own fault but both gigs were great. More people did end up trickling in by the time the Furs came on but still. Not packed.
The weekend came and so too did Tim Finn and his travelling freakshow of Betchadupa and Deja Voo Doo. They rock more than you do. Actually they don't, but the singer is on Friendster. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. Tim was brilliant. Again though... students SUCK. Every single song he played, some drunken cunts behind us were screaming out for I See Red and would actually sing along to that song over top of whatever song he was playing. LIKE HE WASN'T GOING TO PLAY IT? HE ALWAYS PLAYS IT! DUMBASS! *smack* I smacked one of them actually when he grabbed me and hurt me. I smacked him good. I ended up bleeding from the barrier and it's lack of padding and bruised from the overzealous morons behind. But all in all... when Deja Voo Doo and Betchadupa came out to beat each other up with hollow guitars that were on fire while Tim sang My Ten Guitars... well what's a little blood between friends eh?
The week after featured a Julia Deans solo show which was incredible and a Steve Wells solo show which was great too but we had to wait through a lot of crap to see him. Actually ditto Julia's show, but I have a feeling these two were part of the Fringe fest.
Last year there was nothing that appealed. This year, even less.
Oh well. Maybe it's time to put Orientation Week behind me.
Hasta la vista! Doorbell!