(written in two parts: 5 September 2003 & 17 September 2003)
Part 1:
I'm watching the Simpsons. It's an old one. Now all this talk about the Simpsons lately gets me down a bit. They say they've gone downhill and they can never top... say... series 2. They say the storylines are weak and they're really reaching lately.
Me, personally, I prefer the storyline-lite version with cheap laughs. You never hear people saying "That's like the time on the Simpsons where the babysitter bandit was babysitting the children and Homer let her go after the kids caught her and called the cops" now DO YOU? No. You hear people constantly slipping Homerisms into conversations. It's like the Family Guy. I can remember great one liners, but couldn't tell you what was happening in the episode.
Sometimes things just transcend the common guidelines and boundaries of what makes something stimulating and wonderful. Like say... me. Or my partner in crime here.
Whenever I hear that familiar Simpsons theme tune and I look up to see the brighter blue sky and the oddly coloured (even for them) skin, I'm a little disappointed. I'd rather there be critically panned new Simpsons episodes than a lifetime of repeats.
So to all those newsgroups and their worst.episode.ever. witticisms, I say "SHOVE IT FAIR UP YOUR CLACKERS!" for I will never stop the love. Never!
Part 2:
My turn! My turn!
(Previously on Ratpony, Kam listed his favourite episods...)
Now some of Kam's I might consider to be mine you see, such as the chili-induced trip, and the lemon tree episode. But I'll leave those out as I attempt to narrow it down to 5 for myself to roll in and get my sticky greasy fingers all over.
5. Krusty Gets Kancelled - Such a typical choice from yours truly there. But it has so many celebrity spots, PLUS the wonderful undies snapping scene between Julius Hibbert and Chief Wiggum. I'm almost tempted to drop this one for the Homerpalooza one because I've seen this one too many times... But then I must take into account, had it not been for my ability to overkill things would I look upon this episode as anything less than what it is? And the answer... is no. So there.
Thirty-five years in television and already nobody remembers me. Just like what's-his-face.
4. Bart Sells His Soul - Jessie can recite this entire episode. This makes me so proud because I can barely even remember Lovejoy's threat about unwed mothers.
If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink nought but burning hot cola. Where fiery demons will punch me in the back, where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers, where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds...
Mmmm flash fried Buffalo. Unkie Moe. Sody. Heheh. This is one of those episodes full of fantastic quotes. Way to breathe no breath. Sanjay to the entrance with the windex. Sanjay to the entrance with the windex... Alf's back! AND HE'S IN POG FORM!
I could go on but I wont because quotes are all I have to offer...
3. Bart of Darkness - Yep. The one where the Simpsons get a swimming pool, then Bart breaks his leg and can't play all summer. Why is it so funny? Well apart from the whole Ned Flanders screaming like a girl thing (I'm a murderer! I'm a murdiddleyurdler!) there's the end. Martin, having lured all the kids to his bigger better pool, loses it all, including his shorts and is left standing in what looks to be a beautiful sunset with his little yellow cheeks shining in the sun. Heh.
"`Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithin's Day already?'
`'Tis,' replied Aunt Helga"
2. Bart vs. Australia - As a New Zealander, the sworn arch-enemy of the Australian (heheh) I get much joy from this piss-take. Cliches are funny too. Stereotypes? *Kiss her fingertips* The whole idea that every Australian lives on a farm or in the middle of the Wopwops is so funny. The Prime Minister in his jockeys in the middle of the pond. The whole U-R-Gay thing. But the creme de la creme of Simpsons quotes come in the form of...
Dunedeesque Chap: You call that a knife? This is a knife.
Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon.
Man: All right, all right, you win. I see you've played Knifey-Spooney before.
Homer: Hey! Give me one of those famous giant beers I've heard so much about.
Bartender: Something wrong, yank?
Homer: No. It's pretty big... I guess.
Marge: I'll just have a cup of coffee.
Bartender: Beer, it is.
Marge: No, I said "coffee".
Bartender: "Beer"?
Marge: Coff-ee.
Bartender: Be-er?
Marge: C-O...
Bartender: B-E..
1. Lisa Gets an 'A' - Without a doubt my all-time favourite episode. I think I make some comment about an unprecedented A-triple-plus at least weekly and then go on to say that stupid Skinner comment...
I've just received some rather unusual news regarding your unprecedented A-triple-plus. To be honest, I'm surprised and saddened. Ur... no, not saddened. What's the word? Ah yes, delighted!
In addition to this storyline (glorious as it is... Ralph Wiggum using his computer calls Superintendant Chalmers, SuperNintendo Chalmers... HAHAHA) we have my personal favourite Simpsons pet, Pinchy the delicious lobster. Hehe. Forever engrained my mind is the image of Homer squirting Pinchy playfully in a blow-up paddling pool.
Y'arr, it's not his fault he's a sissy. Someone's been coddling him.
And there you have it. Honourable mentions would take too long, and this was hard enough as it is. I haven't seen everything. I have hardly seen any of the brand new ones because I dont know where it's on here anymore. They keep changing it and replacing it with Colgate family movies, inevitably about a bear or a giraffe. So stupid. NZ tv largely sucks the big fat one.